What is Sexual Addiction?
Sexual addiction is a compulsive need that you must perform sexual acts to have a ‘fix’, similar to how a person with alcohol dependency gets from a drink or someone who needs heroin to escape their life.
Sex addiction can be extremely dangerous and similar to drug or alcohol reliance; it can negatively affect your physical and mental health, quality of life, relationships, and safety.
Do any of these situations sound familiar to you?
- Fixation with sex or porn to the point you’re avoiding other matters and responsibilities
- Relationship issues because of excessive use of porn
- Skipping your duties because of extreme masturbation
- Cheating on your partner
- Struggle to maintain relationships and struggle with intimacy
- Anonymous or unprotected sex
- A desperate wish to stop the behaviours, but the inability to do so
- Overlapping issues, such as the use of alcohol, drugs, or other destructive behaviours
- Compulsive use of “hook-up” apps even when you want to stop using them
- Continuing unwanted sexual behaviours despite ongoing problems in nearly all areas of life
If any, or most, of these situations sound like you, then you should know that change is something that you can do. Even the fact that these behaviours are on a concrete list should let you know that you’re not alone. Millions of men struggle with these issues every day. Yet, millions of them have also recovered – I’m one of them.
I’m here to help you get a handle on what’s going on and make a plan for change with you. As your recovery coach, I’m here as a peer, mentor, guide, support system, and cheerleader.
Start by setting up an initial call. We’ll discuss what’s going on in your life and how you can feel whole again.
Self-Assessment
I often hide my sexual behaviour and romantic fantasies from those I love.
I lead a double life to hide my behaviour.
I have engaged in sex in places and with people I would not usually choose to.
I need greater variety and more frequency to achieve the same level of relief and excitement.
Porn occupies a significant amount of time and jeopardizes my relationships and/or employment.
My relationships follow the same pattern of destruction and have become distorted because of my sexual fixation.
I often feel shame, guilt, or remorse after a sexual encounter and frequently want to get away from a partner after having sex.
I’ve had legal issues caused by my sexual engagements.
My moral standards conflict with my sexual activities and fantasies.
I’ve coerced, been violent, and threatened to have sex.
Sex has left me feeling hopeless, alienated and/or suicidal.
Sexual obsession has affected other areas of my life.
I avoid sex because I’m afraid of sex or intimate relationships.
Disclaimer: As a coach, I’m not here to diagnose you - if you’re seeking a diagnosis, speak to a medical professional.
If more than one of the statements are true for you, schedule your call below.
Healthy vs Addiction
Sex addiction is not about the number of times you’re active during the day; it’s about the relationship you have with the compulsive experience.
A healthy sex life can be powerful, and the rush of the act can be thrilling. But a person who does not have a sex addiction can still enjoy other types of activities and relationships.
If you have a sex addiction, you may find little to no pleasure in doing anything else.
Ask yourself:
Do I promise myself that I won’t do it again, only to end up repeating it over and over?
Do I lose control of my behaviour around sex?
Do I receive negative consequences for my sexual behaviour but still continue?
Do I have to keep my sexual behaviour a secret?
People that have a sex addiction, just like those with drug or alcohol dependency, are trying to escape from facing uncomfortable feelings such as pain, anxiety, stress, fear.
My clients often feel despair, loneliness, frustration, guilt, anger, self-hatred, and shame and disgust at their actions.
Sexual acting out may be interfering with your relationship or keeping you from having one. But, life doesn’t have to stay this way. All it takes is honesty and a willingness to get started! So, I’ll meet you where you’re at, and we’ll go from there.
My coaching is unique to you. To provide you with the best chance for success, we’ll chat about your situation over the phone and identify your recovery goals. Then, we’ll focus on building a better future. Together we’ll create a plan to get you where you want to be. I’ll be there as a guide and mentor to support you along the way.